11. Personal Goals

Kevin had no personal goals in his life except to live with me. He said that living with me was his only goal in his life. Personally, I don’t even consider that a life goal. Every time I asked him about his life goals, all I got out of him was his bullshit “I want to live with you” crap. He had absolutely no other goals.

When he asked me about my goals, I said that I wanted to go back to university to do a Master’s degree. That really hurt him badly. He said that I was being selfish, only thinking about myself and not thinking about him or our relationship. He would compare his life goal of him wanting to live with me to me wanting to go back to university to portray how he was always thinking of me and then compare that to how I was only thinking about myself. This was his attempt of guilt-tripping me. But I never felt guilty about this.

Everything I do in my life, I always take my different relationships into consideration, be it a romantic relationship, family or friendship. Just because someone is in a romantic relationship does not mean that that person should sacrifice their personal goals. Instead, people should be supportive of their partner’s goals. That’s what relationships are supposed to be about.

Before my trip to Stockholm, he was causing drama because he knew I had applied to a university there and he was panicking that the purpose of my trip to Stockholm was to see the university. By this time, he had already warned me that my intention to go back to university had caused him so much pain. I had told him countless times that I was only going on holiday with a friend and Stockholm had been a place I had wanted to see for a long time.

I did mention my intention to go back to university during the love bombing stage. It’s funny how at that time, he showed positive interest in it. And once he believed he had me under his control, his fake positive interest completely disappeared. Instead, he viewed me having personal goals as something completely malicious that really hurt him. He was just insecure and envious.

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