13. My Friends

Kevin never met my friends. Yet he always accused me of either sleeping with them or at least having something inappropriate going on.

When I told him that I had a few male friends, he would tell me that they were not interested in me as just a friend but that they wanted more from me, even though Kevin had never met them. Now I can see that he just wanted me to lose contact with my male friends.

Sometimes he would insult my friends. These were people he had never even met. My friend, Aaron, has a cousin who is a singer in a band from New Zealand. I showed Kevin a YouTube video of one of their songs and his immediate reaction after one second was, “Oh my God, ewwww, they’re so out of tune”. This band is a professional band well-known in New Zealand. Kevin barely listened to a second of it before making this rude remark. I believe he just wanted to say something insulting as he did not like my friends. Actually, it probably wasn’t my friends he didn’t like. It was probably the fact that I had friends that he didn’t like.

He even accused the friend I went to Stockholm with of being another lover of mine. Anthony is my friend from university and he was doing some travelling at the time so we decided to catch up and do a little holiday in Stockholm. Then when I said that next year I had plans to go on holiday with another friend of mine, he said outright, “Are you going to fuck him?”, before even asking whether this was a man or a woman. Very often when I spoke of my friends, he would refer to them using the pronoun “him” without clarifying whether I was talking about a man or a woman. When I told him that I was thinking about visiting my friend, Ingrid, in Oslo (I didn’t mention her name, I just referred to her as “my friend”), I don’t remember exactly what he said when he responded but he referred to her by assuming the pronoun “him”. Whenever I talked about my friends, he always assumed that I was talking about a man, when it wasn’t always the case. He was an exceptionally insecure, pathologically envious little man.


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