During my first few months in Belgium, I was being paid in cash as I had not opened a bank account because I needed my resident’s card to be able to open a bank account but my resident’s card took a long time to be processed. Before I went on holiday to England in September 2015, Kevin had asked me whether I was taking my money with me to England or whether I was going to hide it in my clothes and leave it in Belgium. He said this in a semi-joking and smirky way. I told him that I was not taking my money with me. While I was away, he had access to my room as I allowed him to water my cacti. I also gave him my keys as a symbol of trust, also because he did the same to me when I had to look after Decibelle whenever he was away. I don’t know if he found my money when I was away. I don’t think he stole any as I had counted my money and written the amount on the envelope it was in. But I did not pay that much attention to it as I had trusted him.
Thinking back, there were so many occasions when Kevin was very tricky when it came to money. The first time we went to Reims, France for a weekend in August 2015, he had asked me to sort out the hotel accommodation which I did. While we were in Reims, he paid for two of our meals and said that by paying for two of our meals, it paid off the amount he owed me for the accommodation. However, the price he paid for my meals only added up to half of his share of the hotel accommodation. I didn’t say anything as he came across as very stressed about his financial situation and I was afraid that by saying something, he would start raising his voice at me. By this time, I was already subconsciously avoiding any conflicting situations with him. I was not even aware that I was doing this. But the look in his eyes told me that he knew he was not being honest with me. I knew very clearly that a man does not love me if he is able to cheat me on anything. Yet, I still ignored my gut instincts.
On the other hand, when we went to Brittany in September 2015, he had organised the accommodation as he knew exactly where we were going. I had calculated everything clearly so that I could pay exactly half of the accommodation. I paid him in cash. However, as we were moving around a lot and staying in a different place every night, I accidentally forgot to include one night. It was only until we reached the last night that I realised that I had miscalculated one night less. Immediately, I paid him my share of the extra night. When I gave him the money, he told me that he knew that I had paid one night less. What bothered me was the fact that when I had to pay him back money, he calculated so well. Yet when he owes me money, he is either very vague or he completely “forgets” about it. Thinking back, I actually owed him nothing as by that time, I had already given him €500 and paid for a lot of his things.
Whilst I was in Spain (Chapter 21), I visited Belgium over Easter of 2016. We went to Reims with our colleagues William and Michelle for the weekend to watch the French football team Guingamp play against Reims. It was Kevin’s idea yet Kevin had asked me to initially pay for the accommodation. I told him that he was making me pay for it because he didn’t want to use his own money. Of course he denied it. However, I was surprised when he took note that he would pay me back his share of the hotel accommodation. But he only mentioned that. He never mentioned any of the thousands of Euros that he already owed me at that time. It was like he just took my money and forgot about it. He is worth less than trash. He has no morals and no values. Why even bother saying that he would pay me back €39 when he owes me thousands more but did not even mention that? Such a sly, little man. In the end he paid for the football tickets and I accepted that as his repayment, which was a mistake as the difference was still €20. What a huge learning curve. I never thought I would learn this lesson from someone I once called my boyfriend. Even now I don’t call him my ex-boyfriend as he didn’t have the qualities of a boyfriend. I just call him the ex-narc.