26. Leaving Spain

I left Spain in June 2016, after five months. When I was in Belgium over Easter, Kevin said that he would come visit me in May. Then he never mentioned it again. When I asked him when he would visit, he then said that he would visit me at the beginning of June. Then when I asked him again later on down the track, it then change to my last week in Spain at the end of June so that he could help me pack instead. I was fine with that. So the plan became that he would come in my last week in Spain to help me pack and we would rent a van and drive back up to Belgium stopping in Dijon for a couple of days on the way. He said this in April which meant he had about three months to make preparations.

As time got closer, I kept reminding him to book his ticket to Spain so that we could start planning the rest. He kept saying that there was no rush and that he first needed to confirm the dates of the school spectacle so that he could book his ticket for after. I said that the ticket prices were going to go up and that he needed to be quick. Each time I asked if the spectacle dates were set yet, he kept saying how everyone was so disorganised and that there was still no set date yet. This went on for an incredibly long time. Eventually the date was confirmed about ten days before the spectacle. I don’t know whether this was true or whether this was some elaborate lie to divert my questioning about him coming to Spain.

Then he said that he had no money as he had to go to France in May to go to court to settle a case over something about the government taking back his father’s house… apparently. As I had previously mentioned, he had a lot of complications in his life. So complicated that it was always hard to understand exactly what the problem was. Perhaps it was another one of his tactics to confuse me so that he could garner sympathy without all the questioning. His mouth is stuffed with nothing more than his bullshit. But back to the point, because he had to go to France for something, he became in debt again. That’s what happens when you don’t save your money and you know that you have a lot of financial responsibilities. Instead he blamed the school for not having any money to give him an advanced payment. However, the school is not obliged to pay him in advance. The school pays on pay day. He even used a third person, Callum, to form a triangulation by saying that Callum was also asking for advanced payment and was desperate for money but could not get his advanced payment. I know this is not true as Callum was one of the biggest savers in the school. He only spent what he needed. I even said this to Kevin and he just said, “I don’t know. It’s just the way it is”. He always said something along those lines when I questioned him. He had three months to prepare for this trip financially and I was not going to “lend” him anymore money.

The school spectacle finished only two days before I was to leave Spain so that ruled out him coming for a week like he said he would. Then he said that William was away and that he needed to be around on Wednesday. I was meant to leave Spain on Friday. What did not make sense was that William was away until Monday the following week. So why did Kevin say that he needed to be around on Wednesday when there were classes every day except for Sundays? He had so many inconsistencies in his lies but would always yell at me whenever I called him out on them, which eventually made me stop questioning his lies. Yelling was his sick defence mechanism.

So it went from my last week of Spain, to the day before I leave Spain, to the day I leave Spain. Then he asked me to meet him in Barcelona. I was living an hour and a half away from Barcelona and I had so much luggage and a box. I could not travel to Barcelona. He never thought about me. He only ever thought about himself. He was a selfish piece of shit. Then he suggested that I rent a car and meet him halfway in France. A few weeks ago, he had said that he did not want me driving as I was not so confident on the road. Then all of a sudden, his (phony) care for my safety and well-being all went out the window. I said that I was not going to drive so he said that he was going to find enough money for a plane ticket. Then he asked me how he was going to get from Barcelona to me. I said to him that the plan was to rent a car and that he could pick one up from the airport, which we had discussed a few weeks back. Suddenly, he got really angry because he knew he would have to rent a car. My intention was that we split the cost of the car fifty-fifty, but he had implied a few weeks earlier that I was going to rent the car myself and that he was going to drive it. That I find very unfair as we were supposed to spend a couple of days relaxing in Dijon and also everything about moving to Spain was because of him. Even the plan for Dijon went out the window. He even said that he would pay for half my moving costs but apparently that did not include renting a car to move back. In the end, I never received a cent. It was all just words. Nothing more. He was just so selfish and so uncaring. I realise now that he never had any intention of coming to Spain to help me move. It was all meaningless talk. And he was very good at doing that. His words and actions never matched.

In the end, I lost my patience and I said to him, “Don’t bother coming, I will do it myself”. This also costed me because I then had to organise a box to be sent to Belgium last minute and I had to rush to find a plane ticket. I had sent my other boxes earlier as I had seen a special deal and used it so that we could rent a smaller car instead of a van, which would’ve been cheaper.

It was disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. His words were nothing more than verbal diarrhoea. This is another trait of narcissists – their words don’t match their actions. They speak without intent. He was lazy. He was selfish. He did not care.

He did offer to pick me up from Brussels airport which I refused. I did not want his help but he kept insisting for my flight details and that he would pick me up. Eventually I said fine and that he could pick me up. But when I accepted his offer, he suddenly changed. He began sighing impatiently, sort of implying that I was inconveniencing him because he would have to drive two hours to Brussels to pick me up. Who was inconveniencing who!? I had sacrificed so much for him for nothing. I had moved to another country for him. I sacrificed my full-time job with no rent or bills to pay for a part-time job in which I had to pay rent and bills all because he desperately needed a new job because he apparently had financial responsibilities he needed to adhere to. He did not even take me to the bus stop down the road when I first left Belgium (Chapter 67). He did not take me to Luxembourg train station like he said he would when I left Belgium after visiting for the Easter holidays, which resulted in me missing my flight (Chapter 25). He did not come to Spain to help me pack like he said he would. And then he became reluctant to pick me up from Brussels Airport when he was the one who offered to do so. He tried creeping his way out of coming to the airport by saying that he would have to see whether the secretaries had scheduled any classes for him. However, I was scheduled to arrive at 8 o’clock at night which meant he had to leave Thiaumont at about 6 o’clock. He finishes work at 17.40. This is yet another example of how his words and actions did not match. He could talk, talk, talk but none of it would mean anything. He was extremely lazy and selfish. His mouth was filled with nothing more than verbal diarrhoea.

I also left Spain a day earlier than anticipated because Claude and I had an altercation. I believe he also had Narcissistic Personality Disorder but the overt type. We were discussing my final pay but nothing was as we had agreed including the contract. I was supposed to sign a part-time contract but he made me sign a full-time contract so that I could get my resident’s permit and then I would sign the part-time contract. However, no matter how many times I asked, I never received my part-time contract. So in the end, I was working part-time hours on a full-time contract. He did this so he did not have to pay as much in taxes. He was also not clear with me on my pay and every time I asked him to clarify, I could never get clarification. On my second last day of work, I asked him again to clarify my pay and again it was unclear. He showed me his Excel spreadsheet but he was very vague when he was explaining the calculations to me and I found it very difficult to understand. So I asked him politely if he could send me the spreadsheet in which he blew up at me and called me crazy. He said that the calculations did not matter and that all that mattered was that I receive the money in my bank account. Because of this, I decided to abruptly leave Spain a day earlier than anticipated. When I told Kevin this, he got angry at me. He had the impatient sigh with a slightly raised voice implying that I had disobeyed him because he was about to tell me to not leave early. I was already so distraught by Claude and all Kevin could offer me was disappointment because he believed that I had “disobeyed” him. I can do whatever I want. He was not in my position. He did not understand what I had gone through. It did not even occur to him that I had gone through all this because I had moved to Spain for him. I also felt a sense of annoyance from him because my change in schedule had put him at an inconvenience. However, he was already reluctant and finding excuses to getting out of picking me up from Brussels Airport before I decided to abruptly leave Spain so it was not because of that. It was because Kevin was nothing more than a sick, lazy, selfish, little man whose words weighed a hundred times less in value than infertile shit. In a healthy relationship, couples comfort each other and are there for each other. And if a couple hasn’t seen each other in a long time, they would be so excited and ecstatic to see each other again. They would not show annoyance like Kevin did. I had never experienced anything shocking like this before.

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