28. Physical Intimidation

Kevin has never been physically abusive towards me, but he has been physically intimidating. Whenever he yelled at me, sometimes he would tower over me and point his finger in my face. Other times, if he was yelling at me and I tried to leave the room to get away, he would block the doorway so I couldn’t get out. Or if I was already at the door and I opened it to try to get out, he would charge at the door and slam it shut to trap me inside.

Whenever I tried to get away (either when I was inside the house or outside), he would grab me by the arms which had left me with bruises a couple of times.

One time, I left the house and he was following behind me. I walked through the village hoping that he’d give up and turn around, but he never did. I began to walk faster and so did he. It was a horrible feeling. I felt like I was being hunted. But what’s worse was that the person who was hunting me down was my boyfriend. I kept telling him to go away and leave me alone but he refused to hear me. Then I ran and he began to run too. I knew he was a bad runner so I was hoping that he’d give up, however, I was struggling to run myself as the ground was covered in snow and ice. He managed to catch up and grabbed me tightly around the arm. I tried to explain to him again how I was feeling but he continued to project the blame onto me (I can’t remember exactly what we were fighting about when this event happened), so I continued to walk away and he continued to follow me whilst patronising and grabbing me at the same time, saying that I was hiding from my problems when all I was trying to do was get away from his abuse. Talking with him was impossible. He never listened, he only deflected and projected. It only went around in circles driving me insane. One resident did witness part of what had happened. Kevin didn’t realise that someone was watching so he had his mask off, and I’m glad at least someone saw something. He makes me so sick. He thought he could control me, he thought he could dominate me, and then he would justify it by saying that he cared.

He would also throw things when I confronted him about his behaviour. He did this once when I was physically there in person with an unopened bag of popcorn which he was going to make. He threw it onto the floor. Other times, it was over Skype whenever I confronted him about his behaviour. He would throw objects onto the table. He never threw anything directly at me. Maybe he knew the limits to keeping his abuse covert. He had his own definition of abuse, as all abusers do.

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