33. Bad-Mouthing His Friends, But Only Behind Their Backs

I am a private person, I keep to myself and I am careful with making friends too quickly with my colleagues. However, Kevin criticised that, as he did with everything else about me. He always criticised the way I spoke and presented myself to people. I have never had criticisms like that about me in the past. This has been the first and only time. And as I have mentioned already, I believe that this was all part of his gaslighting.

He did the same to his “friends”, however, never to their faces. He frequently criticised the way Michelle spoke, but he never did it to her face. Only to me, behind her back. He would never say such things to her face. He was always trying to impress other people and come across as the nice guy. He never wanted to upset anybody. Sometimes I did have a problem with the way Michelle spoke too. But if I ever brought the issue up, Kevin would defend Michelle and blame me.

Kevin even accused Michelle of stealing incense sticks from his room whilst taking care of Decibelle while he was in France (I was not able to take care of Decibelle at that time as I was in Spain). A few weeks later, I confronted him about how he was always defending his friends yet bad-mouthed them behind their backs and I brought up the example of him accusing Michelle of stealing from his room. He then told me in his defence that he had asked Michelle about it and that she said she did not steal from his room. I know he did not confront Michelle – he would never do such a thing. It was just some stupid excuse to cover himself up.

With me, it was constant criticism and constant manipulation. He continually blamed me for everything and minimised the wrong doings of himself and other people. If I came across as rude, it was my fault. If someone else came across as rude, it was still my fault for not adapting to the way other people talk. His problems were my fault. Other people’s problems were my fault. In his eyes, I was always the one at fault.

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