35. Incident #11: Incident With Paul

Whilst I was in Spain, a new employee, Paul, had arrived at the school in Belgium.  He only lasted a week. I have never met Paul so everything I know about him came from Kevin’s mouth. From what I was told, Paul was very condescending towards women (much like Kevin) and would refer to women as either “sub” or “dom”. To him, women were sexual objects. One night, he got very drunk and was shouting sexual profanities at other colleagues. Kevin said that he was going to call me at 10 o’clock that night after his “Skype class” but did not and left me waiting. So I tried calling him. He picked up the phone and impatiently told me that he had no time for me because there was an “incident”, then he hung up on me. I would have been able to understand if he was caught up in something unexpected but the way he spoke to me was extremely disrespectful and entitled. If he was busy, he could have sent me a quick text to tell me that something unexpected had come up and that he would not be able to call me. And when I called him, he did not have any reason to get impatient with me. I had no idea what was up. He was not entitled to treat me like that, even though he believed it was in his every right.

Later that night, sometime after midnight, Kevin called to explain to me what had happened. He said that Paul was drunk and shouting sexually explicit language at women. He also said that Paul was running a lesbian chatroom online and that he wanted to show everyone his chatroom so everyone followed him to his room to see this lesbian chatroom. With Kevin, I tried to keep my views neutral as I knew that he could put the blame on those who did not deserve it. While I disapprove of Paul’s behaviour, I wanted to stay neutral so I said that if Paul wanted to run a lesbian chatroom, it really was nobody else’s business and there was no reason for everyone to follow him into his room to see this chatroom. Immediately, Kevin blew up at me saying that I was defending Paul and that I would have loved to be “fucked” and “fisted” by him. He went on and on. He did not stop. I was not defending Paul, but Kevin had to interpret it as if I was defending him. Kevin wanted me to agree with every word he said at all times. I was not allowed to speak my mind. He wanted me to repeat his every word like a prayer. I cried so much. I could not believe he could say something like that continually to someone that he claims to love and show no remorse for it. He never apologised for anything he said and to this day, he still believes it was my fault for defending Paul. I was staying neutral and I have every right to do so. He said that Paul’s chatroom was for under 18s and questioned how I could be supportive of that. But I kept telling Kevin that this was discovered after Paul had shown everyone his chatroom, whereas I was referring to the point when everyone wanted to see this chatroom and I did not think that it was that important, nor anybody else’s business. Nevertheless, Kevin continued to use that reason to accuse me of defending Paul and wanting to be “fucked” by him. He draws these conclusions by completely distorting the truth. He was always finding a reason to attack and get angry me.

What was really disgusting was that Kevin was there to defend all the women from Paul until the early hours of the morning. Yet he had never defended me. Instead, he accused me of wanting to be “fucked” by him. I find that so hard to get my head around. Only someone as sick as Kevin could only come to that sick conclusion. And to be frank, Kevin couldn’t have given a shit about an under 18s lesbian chatroom. He’s no angel himself. Far from one. He has a lot of his own dirty secrets. He was just using the situation to come to everyone’s rescue for his own false self-image.


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