55. He Took Away My Right To Retaliate

Kevin hated it when I retaliated. If I did, he would get even angrier at me and use it against me so as to make it look like I was the one with the problem. He would use my retaliation to accuse me of starting arguments. Every person has the right to retaliate and stand up for themselves. If we feel we have been wrongly treated for justifiable reasons, it is in our right to stick up for ourselves. The restaurant incident (Chapter 5), the Christmas e-card (Chapter 52), the times I expressed my feelings to which he would shout at me then I would have to defend myself (he made me afraid to express my feelings) – these were all times he used my retaliation and project it back onto me saying that I was always starting fights when I was only defending myself.

When I told him that I had never had a boyfriend who ever shouted at me in my life, he would ignore it. He had selective hearing. Whenever I confronted him about his behaviour, he would interrupt me and talk loudly over me because he did not want to hear the truth. He believed he could interrupt me whenever he wanted, yet if I ever interrupted him, he would tell me to shut up because he was talking first. He had very misogynistic double standards.

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