58. World News Was Always About Him

Part of the reason why Kevin was always obsessed with reading the news was because he always believed it was about him. He never said that outright, but his tone and his mannerisms said it all. Mannerisms that you can only observe in people who believe that everything in the universe revolves around them and happens because of them. Any news that related to France, he would basically project the news onto himself. He would report the news to everyone in a way that he was trying to garner attention for himself. For example, when the Paris attacks happened in 2015, he completely shut me off. He told me to be completely silent whilst he was listening to the news. Even though it was important news to him and it was truly tragic, he did not have to silence me. He could have been polite. It felt very misogynistic, as if he believed he could silence me because he was a man. He had that sort of misogynistic attitude but would always deny it. His reaction to the Paris attacks made me quite sick because he did not come across as if he was concerned for those affected by the attacks. Rather, he came across as almost excited because the news was about his country and therefore it was about him, but he disguised this thrill with concern for the victims. He even lit a candle for the victims which disgusted me because it was not about the victims, it was about him. It was all just fake care used for the purpose of serving him. It is very difficult to explain this concept in words, especially as it is so intangible. I even tried to explain this concept to Kevin when it happened but instead he got angry at me. He said that I was exceptionally cruel to have thought this way and that I was the only one that did not enquire about his family and friends whereas everyone else showed their concern for him. It’s true I did not enquire about his family and friends and that is because I knew he did not have family or friends in Paris. The strange thing was that everyone else knew that he did not have friends or family in Paris (and nor is he from Paris). They may have talked to him about the attacks considering he’s French but I don’t think people actually enquired about his family or friends. I think he was just triangulating me to make me feel guilty. I did eventually apologise even though I had no reason to apologise because he himself was not truly concerned about the attacks. He was excited because he believed that the news was about him. On the other hand, whenever bad news occurred in another country, he never showed any interest nor care and would sometimes make condescending comments to the victims, particularly if they were from the Middle East. He was a racist but would always deny and rage at me whenever I confronted him about his racism.


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