90. The Unexpected Visit Of One Of His Ex-Girlfriends

In April 2015, Bianca, the girl Kevin was with just before me whom he had labelled as “crazy”, made an unexpected visit to Kevin. I found it strange as he had said that they had been broken up for six months. However, she came to visit as soon as one of the other teachers had apparently told her that Kevin was with me. Even Kevin had said that he was afraid and anticipated that she would visit if she ever found out that he was with me. I actually doubt that they had been broken up for six months. He may have even still been with her when we met. I’m not sure. But with all the secrets and lies about Kevin, I would not be surprise. What also led me to believe this was that when we went on our first date, Kevin told me to keep our relationship a secret. However, the fact that he wanted to move so quickly at the beginning of the relationship and label me as his girlfriend instantly clashed with him wanting to keep the relationship a secret. I also came across a photo on Marilyn, a colleague’s, Facebook account of Kevin and his ex-girlfriend together at the school Christmas party in 2014. This was one month before I met Kevin. He said that they had broken up and she left Belgium “about” six months before I met Kevin. But everything was always “about” – his lies contained no precision. Now I wonder whether he was just holding on to her for supply until he found someone new.

He also accused her of being crazy (just as he had also called me crazy) because she was always leaving him then coming back, constantly. She would apparently leave her job at the school in Belgium repeatedly to go work in Greece and then come back. Again, he put himself in the poor victim position to say how she had always left him and that he was always left by himself feeling sad. He even said that the director of the school, Celine, had also asked Kevin what was wrong with her for always leaving him, and that Bryony, one of the secretaries, had apparently said that if she were in my position, she would have punched Bianca in the face when she made the visit. I don’t know if this was true, but he was definitely triangulating to gain symphony and I believe to also smear Bianca. I also don’t believe Kevin was as calm during the relationship as he had claimed to be. Knowing him, he would have raged at her, which I am sure would have terrified her. She had probably tried to leave him repeatedly but kept coming back because of the traumatic bonding (Chapter 94), as I had also gone through. He was probably messing around with her mind, guilt-tripping her and screwing around with her life. Perhaps he even sent her to Greece just like how he had sent me to Spain.

When Kevin explained to me how they broke up, it was so vague and inconsistent. Sometimes he would say that she left him out of the blue to go teach in Greece (and therefore he was the poor, abandoned victim). Other times, he said that it was he who left her. I once caught him out on this inconsistency and he stumbled as he tried to explain to me that she left him many times but he made the last call. Did he not find lying extremely exhausting? He couldn’t even keep up with his own lies. One time, he even said that he had broken up with her because she wanted a threesome. And because she wanted a threesome, he labelled her as “crazy”. He also said that very often, she would ignore him for no reason. However, I understand exactly why she would have ignored him – it was because of his abusive behaviour. He even said that all his colleagues had made the same remarks about her ignoring him and that they all agreed that she had something mentally wrong with her. He was triangulating again.

When she visited, Kevin made a comment to me about how calm I was. At that time, I could still maintain a carefree mind. Her visitation didn’t really bother me and I was still cracking jokes. However, I don’t think Kevin liked that. He was hoping for a more extreme reaction from me. Eventually, he did manage to get a negative reaction from me because all throughout the night, he would not stop talking about what had happened that day and he was imposing his extreme stress and negativity onto me, and I believe he did that deliberately to annoy me. It did annoy me and I did become quite upset, but I couldn’t quite explain why at the time. Perhaps he was trying to make me jealous to get a more extreme reaction from me. I wasn’t jealous but I was annoyed at his constant brooding and misery.

I don’t believe she was crazy. He may have driven her crazy like he did to me. But I don’t believe she was crazy. It was Kevin who was the sick, crazy one.

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