Narcissists are empty people with nothing to live for in their lives. They get extremely jealous and envious when they see how much better you are than them. As a result, they hunt for supply like prey then destroy them to feed their own sense of power. What makes their abuse extremely dangerous is how sneaky it is, how they get inside of your mind, and how well they hide their true self from the public.
In this journal, I recount my entire experience with a narcissist. This journal aims to expose narcissists and their abuse, raise awareness of narcissistic abuse, as well as help victims and survivors who may be going or have gone through this disorienting torture understand and put into words exactly what is happening or has happened, respectively. Hearing stories from other survivors of narcissistic abuse helped me through my journey to recovery and I wish to share my story to those currently trying to get out of an abusive relationship or are on the journey to recovery, or anyone wanting to learn more about narcissistic abuse. It is uncanny how similar experiences of narcissistic abuse are, right down to the minute details and the comments they make.
I started penning my experience onto paper in September 2016, shortly after I got out of this “relationship” for the final time. I did so to help me put my emotions onto paper to let go of them and move on with my life. In the past, this had always helped me. I put negative emotions onto paper to help me let go of them. I also put positive emotions onto paper to help me preserve those memories. However, with this particular experience, what I was going through both emotionally and mentally was too strong that putting it onto paper just was not enough. After everything he had done, how could I just let him get away with it and continue to charm the world with this façade? I could not let him get away with it. This was how I first came to publishing my experience as an online blog.
What started out as five pages grew into ninety-six chapters as pieces of memories came flooding back as I was writing, and it was during this period of my writing whilst simultaneously educating myself on Narcissistic Personality Disorder that the pieces fit together like a jig-saw puzzle.
Now that more than a couple of years have gone by since writing about my experience and recovering, I feel I am able to reflect back on my writings with a different perspective: a clear, healthy mind-set with an awareness of the detrimental effects of narcissistic abuse. I have also come to realise that the extent of narcissistic and psychological abuse is something society is highly unaware of and as a result, narcissists essentially get away with crime after crime. This is because this type of abuse is so intangible, unimaginable, and the abuser is easily able to put on different masks. It is time to expose narcissists and increase awareness of the damaging effects of narcissistic abuse, and hopefully one day, there will be laws put into place to deal with the crimes of narcissists.
For those seeking to get out of an abusive relationship or for those on the journey to recovery, I hope that this book will offer you assurance that you are not alone and that you can get out and recover. Take a deep breath and follow the light in front of you.